This has been the best summer of my life.

It’s no coincidence that it’s also the first summer I’ve spent away from home. I don’t mean to suggest that summers at home can’t be fun. They can be. But this summer has given me the opportunity to really do things that I’ve never done before.

That includes the various trips I took over the summer. I ferried to Martha’s Vineyard and considered ditching the whole grad school thing in favor of opening a bed and breakfast on the island. I went to a hot air balloon festival in Stowe, Vermont. I kayaked. I flew to D.C. to visit old chums and had a blast. I rode the Number One roller coaster in the world.

I experienced the Fourth of July in Boston. I walked through M.I.T. I joined a gym. I worked an almost-full-time job/internship. I taught myself how to belt songs without straining my voice. I streamed a lot of Netflix. I installed an air conditioner by myself (and those of you who know me well know this is a major accomplishment). If last summer was my time of self-realization, this summer was my time to explore possibilities.

And true to form, I’ve also done a lot of introspection.

Sometimes people say things that both they and you wish they had never said. Some things you just can’t take back, and sometimes lines are crossed.

That happened a couple times this summer. I’ve had to really reevaluate some relationships. It’s hard for me to realize that my perception of a friendship or family relationship has been skewed. Very hard indeed. However, it is always a good thing to know where people stand. It can either strengthen the bond or fray it. But no one in your life is with you constantly, and no one is completely on your side. Either way, I’m certain my friends are better than your friends.

There have been moments this summer… Moments where I said to myself, “I wish this could go on forever. PLEASE just don’t let this end.” But nothing is so good it lasts eternally, and perfect situations must go wrong. And isn’t that a big reason why life is so damn hard? Isn’t it madness?

I’ve found myself asking “What if…?” so many times this summer. The problem with that question is… Well, the answer is always a heartbreaker: “I guess we’ll never know.” Having to tell myself that is the worst feeling in the world. It puts a weight on my heart that just won’t go away. But I value those heartbreaks. I value the truth.

Looking back, I could have played so many things differently. I was just a little careless maybe. I close my eyes…

What if I had gone to Emerson? What if Mike and I had managed to get along from the start? What if I had joined a gym long ago? What if I hadn’t gotten this internship? Oh, and what if I had never let you go?

I should open my eyes now, because here comes the maddening truth…

I guess we’ll never know.

Yes, it’s been an electric summer of eye-openers and too many new things to list. And now the end is near. But I’ve learned how to make life the fullest. There are many roads to take. I’m sure I’ll have my share of losing, but I’ll do what I have to do. For over a year now, I’ve had a positive outlook. I maintain that outlook. This has got to be a good life.

We may never know the answers to what-if’s, but we can at least try to live a life that has too few regrets to mention. I’m not a hedonist (I don’t think I ever could be), but I’m also not willing to waste time anymore. The old cliche “work hard, play hard” has its merits.

And boy do I sound ridiculous right now.

Yes, this has been the best summer of my life, despite and because of its downsides.

The best summer of my life.