I’ve reflected over the past several months for a long time now, but I couldn’t bring myself to update the blog. I just couldn’t. And I think it’s because I felt like there was some unfinished experience that I should wait to end before I spoke of it publicly.

I’ve been fooling myself. Nothing ever really began, or if it did, it was never going to be worth the energy of playing it out. So this is my catharsis, this public blog. This is my closure, for real closure will never come.

The truth is that I’m actually fairly content at the moment. I’m greatly enjoying my weeks and weekends. I’m greatly enjoying my social life. I’m greatly enjoying my job.

But with any positive truth comes a negative truth. There are still things I’m missing. You know, there probably always will be. But I haven’t even come close to getting sad about it.

I’ve thought a lot about my (and others’) Facebook and Twitter personas. They are overwhelmingly positive, witty, and try very hard to avoid any downers. It’s a funny little game we play, isn’t it? I suppose many people only want to share their happy thoughts publicly, and keep their more distressing thoughts among friends. I think that’s where I stand on social media now. I remain pithy, often over-the-top, and always positive in these all-too-accessible venues.

Because when the truth is ugly, people try to keep it hidden, because they know if revealed, the damage it will do. So they conceal it within sturdy walls or they place it behind closed doors or they obscure it with clever disguises. But truth, no matter how ugly, always emerges. And someone we care about always ends up getting hurt.

And someone else will revel in their pain, and that’s the ugliest truth of all.